What's in the alpha
More depth than your left back's defending
This isn't Football Manager. It's messier, funnier, and set in a car park
at 9am on a Sunday. Here's what you're working with.
⚽
Live Match Engine
Play-by-play commentary with real pre-match events, half-time talks, tactical subs, red cards, and a goalkeeper who should have stayed in midfield.
🍺
Pub Scouting & Signings
Send Dave to watch targets. Pick your moment — quiet pint, big Saturday session, or last orders desperation. Eight different approaches to close the deal.
🧠
10 Player Personality Traits
Mentality Monster, Hot Head, Poacher, Dressing Room DJ, Sweeper Keeper and more — every trait mechanically affects morale, discipline and results.
📊
12-Attribute Player Cards
Finishing, Passing, Tackling, Heading, First Touch, Goalkeeping, Composure, Decisions, Work Rate, Pace, Strength, Stamina. All on a 1–20 scale that actually means something.
🏆
5 Divisions, 3 Cups
Premiership down to Division 3. The Challenge Cup, the Shield, and the Super Cup. Full promotion and relegation every season.
🎽
Kit & Crest Builder
Design your own kit colours and build a crest from scratch. Navy gold, claret sky, black amber — pick something the lads will actually want to wear.
🤝
Tactics & Formations
4-4-2, 4-3-3, 3-4-3, 3-5-2, 4-5-1, or fully custom. Pick your XI, manage subs at half time, and try to remember who plays where.
💷
Sponsors & Finances
11 local sponsors from the Italian restaurant to the law firm. Weekly income, trophy bonuses, and the constant pressure of subs that don't come in.
🌧️
Weather & Pitch Events
Frozen pitches, Sunday downpours, random expenses, kit disasters. Four pitch types — including the one that's mostly puddle — each affecting your results.
🤕
Injuries & Suspensions
Your best striker pulls his hammy the week before the cup final. Your keeper is banned for three weeks. A yellow card away from a crisis every single game.
🎉
Team Morale Events
Pub nights, BBQs, bowling trips, casino nights, and — if the budget allows — the full Ibiza trip. Keep the lads happy or watch them walk.
📈
Player Ageing & Development
Young guns gain attributes. Veterans decline from 34+. Nearly Retired lads hold on by their studs. Career records, trophies, and club history tracked throughout.
